I mentioned in my first post that I lost a substantial amount of weight after moving to Maine for graduate school. I’ve been the same weight for about five years now, and most of the people in my life now don’t know the old version of me.
I struggled with weight ever since I was a preteen. At this point I was also having some health issues and I was quite depressed. We didn’t have the easiest life when I was growing up and when you’re a teenager life is hard enough, let alone adding family issues on top of it. So I was a hot mess at times.
My weight and health problems continued throughout high school and college. By the end of college my weight spiraled out of control – I weighed close to 250 lbs and I felt terrible all the time. At this point I was applying to graduate school to start my PhD program in Genetics. In the spring of my final year I accepted an offer. I was moving 7 hrs north to Maine by myself, so I determined amidst all my other changes I would finally start taking control of my health.
So in July of 2011 I started my journey to Maine. It was so hard. I didn’t adjust well to the move. I’m pretty shy in new social situations and moving to a new state by myself rocked me more than I thought it would. Plus, graduate school is hard in general. I constantly second guessed my intelligence and capability. I called my friends and family in CT crying more than once and thought about quitting hundreds of time. I kept with it though, and when I wasn’t doing school stuff I focused on my health changes as a means to keep occupied. I focused on incorporating little changes every day.
So, I started cooking and eating three meals a day with a few snacks in between. This was a big change for me, before I moved I often skipped breakfast and lunch and then was starving by dinner. We didn’t have much money, so for much of my growing up years dinner was pasta, pizza or another affordable food group. In Maine, I started focusing on eating three meals that were full of vegetables, fruits and proteins. I counted calories some, but mostly focused on choosing healthier options. I explored healthy food blogs and experimented with cooking their recipes. For the first time I also focused on exercising every day. For awhile it was just jumping on the elliptical for a half hour trying not to die. Eventually, the time on the elliptical extended and it got easier.
Since I live near Acadia National Park I also started walking a lot to explore the area. For a long time I wasn’t brave enough to do much outside, but I enjoyed what I did do. In September, I had to move to Boston for 5 months for some course work before I moved back to Maine for the remainder of my graduate school career. At that point I had lost about 15 lbs and was already noticing a lot of health benefits.
When I got to Boston I didn’t have access to a gym anymore, but I started walking everywhere. I had to take the T into the city, so I would get off 2 or 3 miles early and walk the rest of the way in and then I would often do the same thing on the way back home. This helped keep my healthy momentum going and I managed to lose about another 35 lbs over those five months.
Once I moved back to Maine in Feb of 2012 I kept chipping away at my weight and in the summer I started hiking. My first hike was up the North Bubble in Acadia National Park and I remember feeling like I was dying. When I got to the top though, nothing could beat that feeling of pride and accomplishment I felt for actually making it. It got better the more I hiked and I quickly fell in love with it. Over 2012 I lost about about another 35-40 lbs.
Then I made the decision that my New Years Resolution was going to be to start running. I always admired runners. I remember watching the NYC marathon on TV when I was young and being awed that people were running that far. So on January 1st, 2013 I started following a couch to 5K program on the treadmill at work. I loved it! Eventually, when spring came I took it outside and loved it even more. I kept amazing myself by my capability of doing all these things I never thought possible. I may not have been fast but I was getting it done. By this point I had finally made some local friends and we all went hiking together often, so I continued to cultivate my love for all things hiking as well. So in 2013 I lost the remainder of my weight (about 10-15 lbs). That brought my total weight loss to about 100 lbs over a two year period.
Since then I’ve managed to maintain my weight with 3-5 lb fluctuations. Losing weight not only helped me get healthier, but it helped me discover myself. I really came into my own through all of these transitions. Growing up I never hiked or ran (or did anything active) and I was afraid of everything. I remember thinking hiking was awful and scary (but I had never even tried it). I was also depressed and I hated almost all aspects of my life. Now I’ve done a complete 180. In 2014 I ran my first 5k and hiked the highest mountain in Maine (Katadhin) for the first time. In 2015 I ran my first half marathon and hiked Katadhin for a second time. In 2016 I ran my first marathon and got engaged! In 2017 I ran my second marathon, hiked Mt. Washington and got married! Now, in 2018, I’m training for my third marathon and my husband and I are going to Ireland to hike and explore in June. Taking control of my health opened my eyes to all the amazing possibilities that are out there and helped me find happiness and confidence. I met some amazing people, one of whom is now my husband. I know I wouldn’t have been in a place to meet or connect with him back in 2011, so I am so grateful I took this scary step to move here and make the changes I did.
I fully believe people can be healthy, beautiful and happy at higher weights, so if you’re reading this at a weight that society deem’s “high” this isn’t intended to make you feel bad. If you are healthy, embrace who you are (I know it’s easier said than done though). For me though, my high weight was a symptom of my depression and was severely contributing to my health issues – I had to do something. Heart disease and high blood pressure run in my family, and I knew if I didn’t make a change I would be heading down a dangerous path. I can’t say it was easy though, it was hard and a lot of work. I still struggle at times. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and think I should lose more weight or I focus on the areas of me I deem less than perfect. When those moments come I try to focus on how much happier, healthier and stronger I am because that’s really what matters. I also still struggle with feeling like I have to eat “healthy” all the time and feeling guilty when I occasionally eat fries or cookies, even though I know logically that eating those things sometimes isn’t bad. So right now I am working on adopting intuitive eating (more about that later). So, it’s a journey that I can only take one day at a time.
If there’s one thing this process has taught me, it’s that getting out of your comfort zone can be the most rewarding thing you will ever do.
“Life being at the end of your comfort zone”- Neale Donald Walsch
Beakers and Sneakers 
So proud of you and all you have accomplished!!!!
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